I believe that the best way to celebrate being alive right here in this moment is to cook and eat food made from seasonal ingredients that are ripe and recently harvested. Over the last several years, I have found beauty and joy in many different ingredients through the process of getting to know their life cycle and when they are seasonally available. In the summer and early fall months, when the most ingredients are at the peak of their season, I escape to my kitchen and play with many different aromas and flavors. As I toss together the most vibrant pico de gallo that I have ever made with three distinctly magnificent heirloom tomatoes, I am reminded and comforted by the beauty that exists in our natural world. I am relishing the height of tomato season, knowing that tomatoes will never taste as good the rest of the year as they do right now, still warm from the fields and the summer sun.

Enjoying seasonal ingredients is inherently about staying present in the moment. For folks like me- with depression ever lurking in the dark corners of my mind- staying present in the moment is a place that one can truly find peace. But seasonal ingredients also give me something to look forward to throughout the year.

In those dark corners of my mind, suicidality holds a place. I keep it at bay by finding reasons to live each day. If I have something to look forward to, then I have a reason to live. And the seasonal nature of the world around us ensures that each ingredient, in turn, will ripen throughout the year. I will always have something new to look forward to – the next ingredient’s season – and so I will always have a reason to go on living.

Those who know me know that I talk about the chives all winter, holding on until the day they start coming up through the melting snow, signaling the start of spring. With the chives comes the asparagus and the morels, and my time to stay close to the earth as I search for the purple tops peaking up above the grass, and the distinctly textured caps nestled at the base of a decaying tree. The beauty I see in the asparagus is not just the color, or the flavor and aroma when I grill it, but what it symbolizes of the things to come.

Then I grow excited for the rhubarb, the first splash of bright color on the shifting garden landscape. I never used to enjoy rhubarb, until I could see it through the lens of it being one of the first crops of the season with a stunning color and a delightfully tart flavor- until it became something I could look forward to and get to know better through processing it. It is during strawberry season at the beginning of summer that I begin to feel fully alive, as the beauty of the first strawberries picked reminds me that life is worth living and there are small bits of joy to be found in each day. From there, it is a whirlwind of black caps, then cucumbers and beets, cherries and plums; followed by onions, sweet corn, peaches, and heirloom tomatoes; all the way to the Brussels sprouts, kale, and the many squashes of autumn.

As each year passes, I learn about new ingredients to cherish and look forward to, adding more reasons to live throughout the year.  Cooking and eating seasonal ingredients are powerful ways for me to invest my energy in the good things that life has to offer, leaving significantly less space in my mind for the depression to occupy. Rather than pouring my energy into rumination on dark thoughts, I can pour energy into creation from the delicious living things in the world around me.