Self-care is about survival for me.
One of the transformational things I learned in treatment is the practice of self-care and learning ways to incorporate that into my daily life. As a depressive, there is a darkness within me that is always working to destroy me – which is why it is so important that I actively do things to care for myself to counteract that force. If I don’t practice self-care, the cumulative result can be a mental health crisis. Self-care is something that I have to do to manage my depression day-to-day.
Self-care looks different for different people, and it can vary widely depending on what works for the individual. For me, in the darkest months of winter, and when my depression is at its heaviest, self-care is taking the time to shower and wash my hair when I’ve let it go a few too many days. Self-care is doing the laundry so that the piles in my room don’t get too big and overwhelming. Self-care is cooking a meal for myself that is full of nutrition and deliciousness. Self-care is going for a walk around the block so I’m getting some exercise and fresh air.
To illustrate my point: this past winter felt like one of my most difficult winters in recent years. I felt like I was at one of my lowest points, and that I didn’t have any hope. My sister and roommate, who bears witness to most of my depression symptoms, thought this was one of my best winters yet from our time living together. Despite how I was feeling inside, she saw a lot less of the physical symptoms she usually sees in me that time of year.
So, what explains this discrepancy? This past winter, I lost one of my part-time jobs, which opened up one day a week that I could spend on self-care and getting caught up on all of the chores I usually let build up because I don’t have the energy to deal with them. So even though I felt worse, I was actually doing a much better job at managing my depression each week. I survived one of my hardest winters because I had the time and space to take care of myself.
Self-care is beneficial to everyone, and I encourage everyone to practice caring for themselves in whatever way works best for you. And for someone who struggles with depression, self-care is a necessity for survival – it is by caring for myself consistently over time that I keep the darkness at bay.
