I’ve struggled with depression since I was a child. I had a happy childhood, supportive family, and a comfortable living situation; yet the dark thoughts persisted. I never questioned them, since they were all I remembered. I wasn’t formally diagnosed until age 15, and given how these things were talked about at the time, it was something I kept secret.

At age 17, I attended a summer camp where I tried an experiment – I was totally open about my mental health experiences to that small group of people. I discovered something interesting. More than judging or shaming me, the people I talked to were genuinely curious. It was not something they had heard about before, and they asked follow up questions to learn more. While the stigmatized nature of “mental health” and “mental illness” at the time made me fearful to share, I could see the power of my words. The looks on faces shifted from shock and confusion to something close to understanding. I decided then that helping people to understand was more important than my personal fear.

At age 19, I attempted suicide, and was placed in a treatment program. I took time off from school and my regular life to do more intensive treatment, which saved my life. That treatment involved Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which completely changed my outlook. When I reached a place of stability, I returned to school and began to get involved in student organizations such as Stronger Than Stigma, which worked to promote awareness of mental health amongst students at my university. I wrote a piece entitled “Lemon Meringue Pie” for them, one of my first attempts at purposeful mental health advocacy. The reception of that work was better than I could have ever imagined. I wrote about some of my deepest vulnerabilities, and it seemed to help people. It even got me invited to be the opening speaker at a conference a year later.

After I finished school, I moved to a rural community outside Dodgeville, WI, where there was a noticeable lack of mental health resources but a great need for them. I continued to be open about my experiences with suicide and mental health. People that I had just met were telling me about their family members or their own personal experiences, as if they had just been waiting for someone to talk to who would understand. I got involved in volunteering with a local suicide prevention organization and was later employed by a community development organization to work on a behavioral health project working to increase access to mental health care in rural communities. Through this job, one of the reasons I was given a seat at the table was because I was a person with lived experience and my thoughts and reflections on that were valued. Sharing my experiences gave others insight into how to design programming for other people like me. You can read more about the specific work I did here.

And now, I’m looking for my next opportunity to advocate for mental health issues in my current community of Madison, WI. My story is not over, and I’ve got so much more to write. Check out some of my proudest life achievements and my reflections on those milestones here.