The pita recipe that began this journey: Homemade Pita Bread by David Tanis
All of the proofing and resting times are necessary for the texture of the pita to turn out the way that it should. You cannot skip the time it takes for the yeast to activate in the lukewarm water in step one, or it will not cause the dough to double in size later when you leave it to rise. Punching the dough down ensures the yeast is equally distributed and you must let it rise again before rolling it out so that the yeast continues to produce the tiny air pockets more evenly that will give it that soft, fluffy texture. This is a process that cannot be rushed, so allow yourself the full amount of time and practice patience as you wait to start the next step in the process. When you take freshly baked pita after all of the wait times, and tear a piece off and chew it, you will taste and experience the good things that can result when we trust the process and learn to be patient.
Recovery/healing is a process and practicing patience with yourself during that process is so important. There is no one thing or one treatment or one pill that will heal me instantly. I learn new skills, I work at them, I practice them, I let it rise. Then I return to the bowl and punch it down and learn different skills and work at them, practice them, kneading my spirit and my soul, trusting that after this step I will rise once again. Making pita (and raised breads in general) showed me the value of being patient with a process and taught me that when I am patient with myself, I will rise again and I will be rewarded for my efforts.
Use freshly milled whole wheat flour if possible! The nature of freshly milled whole wheat flour is that it is much more absorbent than other flour, so it sucks up the water faster and causes your dough to come together faster. When kneading and working with the dough, the protein structures form quickly and it feels reactive to your touch and much more like a negotiation than you bending an ingredient to your will. Baking bread is not about total control but getting to know your ingredients and how they respond to time, temperature, and your touch. The freshly milled whole wheat flour is also more aromatic when you bake the pita, making it much more flavorful and truly a celebration of wheat.
When you struggle with your mental health, there are often factors that are beyond your control. I cannot force my depression to behave a certain way or will it to go away entirely. But I can get to know the nature of it and negotiate how it affects my daily life. The more that I have gotten to know myself, the easier it has been to move through this world while living with depression.
Trust that your dough will let you know when it has been worked enough. Some doughs can start off quite sticky, and it is easy to give into the temptation to just add more flour and get it over with. DO NOT ADD MORE FLOUR. Kneading is a process that sometimes takes time. The more you knead the dough and work it, the proteins in the gluten are bonding together and forming structures which is where the texture of the bread will come from. When the dough starts sticking to itself more than the bowl or your hands, it is telling you that it is ready, and that it has the structural integrity to move on to the next step. Simply adding flour soaks up the moisture but does not allow those protein structures to form, and you will not get the texture that you seek.
In treatment, I heard the phrase “trust the process” many times. Honestly, it used to annoy me. I desperately wanted the quick fix. I felt so sure it was out there somewhere, that I just hadn’t found the right one yet, and I didn’t need to waste my time on all the hard work. I often say that recovery was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but also the most important thing I’ve ever done. After spending years just throwing more flour in, I eventually realized that I needed to work on developing the structure. I needed to trust the process and invest my time and energy in doing the hard work to achieve the stability that I sought.
